Friday, July 16, 2010

Running a half-marathon in 85-degree heat

HALF MARATHON: Bring out yer dead. . . bring out yer dead . . . ninepence . . . bring out yer dead

WEATHER: Here's one.

ME: I'm not dead!

WEATHER: Yes you are.

HALF MARATHON: She says she's not dead.

WEATHER: Well she will be soon. She's very slow.

ME: I'm not dead! I feel happy!

WEATHER: You're not fooling anyone you know. You haven't seen shade in five kilometers!

HALF MARATHON: Look, I haven't got all day. Is she dead or isn't she?

ME: I feel fine!

WEATHER to HALF MARATHON: Isn't there anything you can do?

ME: I want to go for a walk!

HALF MARATHON to WEATHER: *looks shifty*

HALF MARATHON: *massive hill at km 15*

ME: *thunk*

WEATHER: Thanks very much. Here's your ninepence.

HALF MARATHON: No problem. See you Thursday.

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