Wednesday, September 30, 2009

September miles

Hey, I had a pretty good month in September! For the first time this year (!!) no illness-induced days off, just consistent training. Woohoo!

Total for the month: 228 km/141 miles
Total time spent running: 20:43:46
Races: 1 - Cross-country half marathon (hills, mud, rain) in 1:45:16

Random, plus maybe I'm technically not vegetarian anymore

An uneventful few running days, hence no posting. Just putting in the workouts and continuing to be nervous about upcoming races. Ran the same ones last year and just hope I can beat those times…even if it’s just by three seconds!

This coming weekend is a nice 9.2km cross-country race in Strausberg. 11 October a superspeedy, flat 10k in Berlin, and 18 October is a half-marathon! My training has been haphazard. Not irregular, just not planmässig. Apparently I’m not good at following plans. I was doing a Pfitz HM plan, but I’m always seeing new workouts mentioned on the Forums or in different running books that I decide to try out, thus deviating from poor Pete and his failproof, well-thought-out, scientifically based training program. Anyway, I’ve been hitting faster paces, especially on tempo runs, than this time last year; hoping this means I’m actually more fit, and not that I’m just running too fast on those runs because I’m an idiot who can’t pace herself.

As for actual runs: Had a lovely long run last Sunday. Nothing spectacular, just 22 easy kilometres to and around the Plänterwald and back. Felt very smooth and relaxed, with consistent pace (5:30/km) and no particular joint/digestive/mental issues. Did some lovely kilometre intervals in the damp, windy park yesterday (4:16-4:21/km). It was dark by the last repeat, and I learned that the park is neither well-let nor unscary after dark. It’s still full of people, but you don’t see them til the last minute, and without being able to see landmarks along the path it’s hard to tell whether you’re coming up on the drug dealers (who always hang out in the same places, and pretty much ignore everyone…they’re not scary, but I’m pretty sure that if I were attacked by some madman/men, the drug dealers would not help.) Also, the paths are strewn with twigs and chestnuts, so footing is treacherous. Treadmill season is upon us. Sigh.

While I’m randomly rambling, can I express my newfound love for/appreciation of chocolate milk? I’ve been using it as a “recovery drink” after hard workouts, blending together cocoa powder and half a litre of lowfat, organic, local milk (delicious, btw! No comparison with supermarket milk. I get local milk delivered every week.) I used to only treat myself to chocolate milk after races, but it’s nice to look forward to something while you’re gasping through kilometre repeats – and I swear it really does help. Not that I’m in any shape to do another speed session the next day, but I have far less of that early morning stiffness the day after a hard workout, and my muscles just generally feel…how can I express it…smoother during a recovery run.

On a final dietary note, any vegetarians out there, please feel free to give advice. I’ve recently had some odd symptoms, a sort of clenching/adrenaline feeling in my chest and stomach area like when you’re really anxious, only without the accompanying higher pulse rate/breathing rate or any stress/anxiety thoughts whatsoever. It comes on randomly, while I’m filling out bureaucratic forms, or sleeping, or riding my bike to work. Weird, and extremely unpleasant: it feels anxious, but I’m *not* anxious! But of course I then start wondering wtf is going on: Is my subconscious really anxious and trying to tell me something? Am I anxious, but suddenly lacking the short-term memory to know it? AGH!

Yesterday I reached my limit for pretending the issue was going to go away if I ignored it, as it plagued me throughout the work day. After talking to my boss about it (he’s a medical professor) he ruled out anxiety attacks and thyroid problems – two of the most common reasons for such symptoms, it seems - and said the source of the problem is most likely some mineral deficiency born of a vegetarian diet. One could figure this out by weighing and writing down every single thing you eat for a week, and then entering it into software that will tell you which nutrients were lacking. We have this software here, so it would just be a matter of me being a) less lazy, and b) able to weigh almond butter and other gooey substances…In any case, his recommendation was to start eating oily fish a few times a week and eat some red meat (blurgh) occasionally. I’m not überhappy about this development, but I can see that with higher training intensity and mileage, my body may be asking for more than what my vegetarian diet can give it. And frankly, this clenching-stomach-anxiety thing is so unpleasant, I’m willing to try eating meat if it will help. It’s not hard to find ethically raised meat around here (my main issue with eating meat has to do with the way it is produced); just a matter of learning to stomach it again.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Nervous

Now that I'm sitting here thinking about running, and about my goals, I'm getting nervous. WTF? Well, I know WTF - it's that whole fear of failure thing. Agh.

I have a 10k coming up on 11 October, same course I ran 45:10 on last year, and I reallllly want to get 44:xx. This is because at the half-marathon a week later, on 18 October, I really want to get 1:39:xx, so I need to know I can do the 10k in sub-45.

Ok. Focus. It will be fine...

Achtung: Rambling

Why do I run? It’s the most hackneyed question in all of running blogdom, and I suspect my answers aren’t much different than anyone else’s. The superficial reasons people give are pretty generic: I love it, I need the exercise/runner’s high/time to decompress, I’m good at it,I have something to prove.If you peer past the superficiality into each person’s individual history, of course the motivations are unique to each person and his or her personality, history, and needs.

I debated whether to even cover this question here, since it seems so stereotypical, but then I started thinking about it, so: Here an assortment of rambling explanations for my running addiction.

Because I love it. I just do. It’s my luxury, the way I spoil myself a little each day, the thing I look forward to most. I hardly ever don’t want to run. I love being outdoors, whatever the weather (I ran 12 km in a blizzard in the dark last February); it’s a feeling of freedom and independence, I am the only one who can get me through this, I am strong enough to achieve it on my own. It’s so simple, just me and my body, no equipment, no teammates, no spectators, just me and the road. I love knowing that my body can do it and I love the knowledge that I am, in some way, blessed to be able to run. I love pushing myself through one last wheezy, lactate-marinated kilometre repeat in the knowledge that it’ll make my next 10k that much faster (or so I tell myself!). Lest that all sound deep and existential: I REALLY love the accessories! Shoes! More shoes! Cute running shorts and matching bra tops from Nike! My beloved Garmin 405 and my little green iPod shuffle and the excuse it gives me to listen to cheesy hip-hop/dance/electronica. It’s all part of the ritual of shedding off the robotic, underachieving workaday me and getting back to who I really am, every day.

To prove that I can. Let’s face it, I’m basically one big inertial, lazy-ass mass of untapped potential. I could have been a pretty good academic, but was far too lazy for a PhD. I bitch and moan about how ridiculous my job is, and truly it requires the brainpower of a chickpea to complete my daily to-do list, and yet I’m STILL not any good at it! I could write a kickass novel, probably, but I was far too scared of failure when I had the chance, so…I didn’t. And on and on. I could be more friendly, more financially successful, more humanitarian, but I don’t, I choose to wallow in comfortable mediocrity. Running is, for some reason, the one thing I do that I approach with discipline, determination, organisational talent and long-term planning. Maybe the equation is just simple enough for my brain to wrap itself around: Work harder = better results. The more I achieve, the more I want to achieve, and the more clear it becomes that the limits of what my body can do are much further out than I thought. Last year I ran a 1:40 half-marathon on an average of 27 miles/week of training. What could I do if I doubled the mileage? Shannon and Susanne ran a HM in 1:34:xx – could I do that? How would I get there? Well, x mileage per week for y months plus z amount of speed training = 7 minute miles for 13.1 miles, I’m pretty sure. Curiosity coupled with ambition drives me even when I’d really rather lie down and take a nap.

You can’t fake it. Daily life is saturated with fakeness, superficiality, people looking for quick-fix answers, shortcuts, and the easy way out. Running, however, is one thing you can't fake. You can’t show up at a race and set a 7-minute PR without doing the work. I was going to write “You can’t show up at a 10k race and run it in 45:00 without doing the work”, but then realized there are probably some naturally talented/speedy people who can get away with that. Not me. In May 2008 I ran my first race in five years, a 10k in Volkspark Friedrichshain, in 52:xx, having been a casual runner (maybe like 18 easy miles/week) for years. Four months of consistent (if not especially high-mileage) training later I shocked myself by crossing the finish line of the Asics 10k in 45:10, 32nd of 1500 women.


Objectively, 45:10 is no amazing 10k time, but I never thought I could run that fast. I wasn’t wearing my Garmin that race – I’d forgotten it at home – and I remember that every time I wanted to slow down, I said to myself “You have no excuse not to do your best”. And that is the motto driving me now. True, nothing big is riding on whether I get a PR in my next race, it doesn’t matter to anyone but me. But then again, if I can’t believe in myself, who can? I want to be the best person I can be for my boyfriend, my family, my cats – and running is a way to achieve that.

Running and Yoga and Burritos

Timely, this: Just poking around on Runner's Lounge (I don't post there - too much social networking going on already! - but was in need of even more running-based distraction) and their Thursday Question is about running and yoga: "Tell us about your experience with yoga as it relates to running." I recently started up again with Ashtanga yoga after a two-year absence, and I'm loving it! It makes me stronger and more flexible, and the pain-endurance aspect has to be good for my mental strength. Of course, the real reason I do it is the relaxation at the end: stretching out full-length on the mat, warmed by a blanket, just concentrating on breathing in and out...You just feel so good afterwards. "Calm and centered" isn't a state of being which I naturally fall into, so I doubt the novelty will ever wear off.

So Wednesday is now Yoga Day; that's the led "basic" class. After work I do an easy 6-km loop around the Tiergarten, then head to yoga. One minor drawback is the ensuing 30-minute bike ride back to Kreuzberg in a state of advanced hunger (class is over at 9:30 p.m.). Fortunately, there's a burrito place on the way! Black beans, cheese, and salsa to the rescue!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Really bad idea, or totally ass-kicking plan? Hard to say.

So my crazy running friends Shannon and Susanne recently pulled off a half marathon in under 1:35.

So now my inner toddler is like "WAAAH! I WANT THAT TOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Of course my inner negativity is all "Bwahahahaaaa, as IF."

And yet somewhere is an inner ambition that says, hey, why the hell not?

Well, indeed, Inner Ambition. You make a good point. The potential is there.

The problem is that Inner Ambition's sense of timing is a little unrealistic. IA thinks we (uh, guess that would be me plus miscellaneous inner voices) should do this at our next half-marathon on Oct. 18th. This means that on Oct. 11th - the date of my next 10k - I would need to pull off a sub-43:00 10k. 42:42, in fact, according to McMillan. A pleasingly symmetrical number. Unfortunately my current tempo and interval paces aren't remotely in the neighborhood required for that kind of 10k time, but why let a little detail like that hold me back, right? The reckless crash-and-burn-freudig part of me is sort of curious to see how badly I'd flame out if I started running a 10k at 4:16/km pace.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Oh no, I'm blogging, what if I'm boring and stupid and inarticulate and everyone hates me?? AAAAHHHH!!!

Um. Hi. Yeah...This is my blog. I like nerding around on other people's running blogs, so I thought I'd return the favor(?) and give other people something to procrastinate with. There's no deeper reason for blogging; indeed, I'm not entirely sure how much I have to say even on the subject of running, but on the other hand, limiting myself to the topic of running removes any pressure to be deep about other aspects of life. (I tried blogging once before, and that was the worst part: Trying to think of something deep and interesting to say when all you really have on your mind is what's for dinner and whether to cut your toenails now or later.)

So yes: I will write about running. Training plans, the run du jour, racing, running in berlin in winter (can you say "cold and dark"? Say it again, and again, and again, from now until April), quo vadis armwarmers, miscellaneous neuroses and why double knots are the best thing ever. Probably I'll also talk a lot about my avocado fetish, my cats, how much I need a glass of wine/cup of coffee/other miscellaneous liquid like RIGHT NOW OMG, and the awesomeness of pizza. There may be a certain amout of swooning about my gorgeous, brilliant, talented boyfriend, also known as Herr G. I'll try to keep swooning and toenail talk to a minimum though. Oh, and I might mention rehearsals or concerts I've been to - I play viola and piano.

What won't I write about? Well, my job. I don't want to get fired. It's also unlikely I'll feel the need to weigh in on the health insurance debate, German politics, the morality of aesthetics, or other deep issues. Not because I don't have opinions on those things; I just prefer discussing them over a beer.

Nothing better than writing about what you'll write about eventually, when you get around to it. It's kind of like writing about how you have writer's block, only slightly less lame. Maybe I'll write a bit about Herr G and my awesome beach/dune trail run last Saturday in Warnemünde now, though really, my toenails are looking a bit ragged and plus there's the washing up to be done...